Ever noticed that some of the shortest words have the most complicated meanings, which often take a heavy toll from us. For instance, take LIFE, LOVE, GOD, BOON, BANE etc. to name a few. Amidst this stack of words lies an another one, hidden deep beneath the ‘sheaths’ ! And that’s none other than SEX- a 3-letter word but, encompasses a meaning, wider than a 54″ * 75″ double bed, longer than a 40 minute R-rated movie and of course, thicker than a 0.04 mm condom !
Lets have an explicit audacious confab on this perennially broiling topic. We all must have gone through so many sayings about sex and so have I, but the one that really bowled me over was, “Sex is like air, it’s not important unless you’re not getting any…”, though cheekily amusing, yet so true !
I’m sure, people falling in or around my age bracket must have always come across this one of the 7 deadly sins (i.e. luxuria) as verboten. Trust me, even now many a times just a blatant casual mention of just the name, SEX is more than enough to raise eyebrows. (courtesy : our over-hyped Indian culture by the greybeards). If one goes by the statistics, not surprising though even in the 1950s, it was considered taboo for people to have conversations about how they could improve their sex lives. However, in the 1960s and 1970s, people began to talk more openly about sex. The sexual revolution of those years incited our culture to have a greater comfort level with sex. But in the 1980s, the AIDS epidemic put a damper on sexual freedom, people began to fear sex. All of the freedom achieved in the 1960s and 1970s turned into restraint in the 1980s. Though in the 1990s, some flexibility in ideas and notions was prominent. And today, the scenario has indeed enhanced and obviously for the better. Now, the pendulum has swung to a positive place of sexual desire. We all are at a terrific time in the history of sexual evolution of our country—a time in which people like you and me (and that brings me here ! ) are free to express their interests and views on sex, talk about almost everything from adultery to oral sex to masturbation and to seek and find amazing sex. We’re also aware of the negative reverberations like AIDS, STDs and unintended pregnancies etc. but at the same time, we’re also aware of the precautions that can help us to continue enjoy sex in a healthy way.
But, is sex a trend ?- just like a new hairdo of Dave Becks or Piggy Chops that one would eagerly want to go for !
Even, if you flip through the pages of Playboy round-the-clock obscurely under your blanket or never afford to skip an episode of Sex and the City or have watched the American Pie series innumerable times , doesn’t entail that sex is a trend. It simply means that the media is choosing to talk about it more with every passing day. It also doesn’t imply that one should try it, just your favourite stars are promoting it. One is definitely bound to get turned on or the least, intrigued on seeing some steamy scene in the media and then perhaps, it is something that one would want to give a try. However, not every sex act will fit into somebody’s natural orientation, or sex style, everyone creates his or her own individual sexuality and blind apers don’t always wind up contented. Relationships, bodies, orgasms and sexual circumstances are so unique that each person can revel sex in his or her own distinct sexual expression.
Now coming over to the next question that has always beckoned me- Is sex really overrated ?
Of course, for some it’ll be- those waiting to fall in love or those holding on for that ‘tantric’ impulse to strike. But the answer depends on our conscience and not on the hovering estrogen or testosterone levels. However, there’s a sort of fascism of desire in our society. In much the same way lesbians and gays are considered abnormal, people who want to retain their virginity till marriage or who don’t fit in ‘sex-is-core-piece-of-life’ league are understood to be weirdos, deviants, freakishly far from the norm. If someone goes to clubs five nights a week hoping to find a sex partner for each night, that’s normal; if someone completely ignores his friends and ambitions to steadily entice a sex partner, that’s normal; but if someone doesn’t feel any particular need for sex then, get them to a psychiatrist ! How ridiculous is that !
Amazing sex means being totally into sex : uninhibited, comfortable, and thrilled ! It can be surreal, special, and sizzle or fumbling, phony and fizzle. Anyhow, it should feel like one has won a $100 million lottery, climbed Mt. Everest, sung a duet with Justine Timberlake or drove a brand-new Bentley. Sex is not like riding a bike or watching the same old love story munching popcorn on your red couch ! Sure, the same old balancing act that you learned as a kid still works. But, when it comes to sex, it’s a whole new balancing and rebounding act every time you leap for a ride, compiling new memories and experiencing new things. So on the metaphorical bike ride of your sex life, it’s an innovative idea to push hard on the acclivitous side, glide freely on the declivitous side, bump on a few minor speed-breakers and safely savour the ride !