Do you know the pain of lost love?

July 26, 2012 | Filed under: Relations | Posted by: Anwesha Bose

“Listen big guy, she is my best friend and you better not do anything that will bring a single tear to her eyes. If I ever come to know that you have hurt her, you are dead meat”

“Sure girl. I love her truly. And trust me, I am not like the regular playboys around here. I love her for what she is. I have decided to marry her as soon as she is ready for the big thing. “

“Ya, like that is important. Of course you will say that now. As if I don’t know what a boy wants. “

“Listen. I know she is your best buddy.”

“She is a part of my soul! “

“Yes, yes that too. And I know all men are not honest, and, forgive me for being crude, love to use girls for their own benefit and then dump them. But please, I am not like them at all. You can ask her how I have treated her.”

“Of course she is all starry eyed about you right now. It is just the beginning. “

“Then why are you being so skeptic? “

“I just don’t want her hurt. She is a very good human being and this is the first time she is allowing a man to enter her life. I don’t want her life being shattered because of a lousy lost love.”

“Lost love. Do you know the pain of lost love?”

Do I know the pain of lost love? Lost love. Love…..

Yes, I do. And I know what it feels like. It feels like you had given your soul to someone for safekeeping and one fine day you are told that your soul has been boiled in a saucepan, frozen in ice, then broken to pieces and very politely given back to you with a lame excuse. It feels like you live in a perfect planet and suddenly a passing asteroid decided to crash in your planet.

The pain. The pain is there. After the realization that your perfect little planet has been lost, there is a small period of denial. You think that it was just a bad dream. It was just one of those days when things happened but will be sorted out soon. You try to pick up the pieces and figure out a way to join them back. Then suddenly a broken glass pricks you and you see the millions of pieces that can never be joined again. And that is the moment a dam breaks and you fall to the ground and cry. You accept defeat.

And after that. After that there is no mess that you expect. There is an eerie calmness instead. As if there has been a new dawn that tells you about a new world. A new place where you have been exiled forever. You are trapped in this place to relive the past days everyday. Wherever you go, you can only see those days which will never come back. You withdraw. You accept. You understand that the roses were never meant for you. Just the thorns that you could never see. That the perfect world you belonged to was just a red herring. No such place can ever exist.

The irony of the pain of lost love is that the pain itself numbs you. You stop feeling. You accept that love is not meant for you.

Yes, I know the pain of lost love.

Do you?