Draupadi
It all started with a pretty casual discussion on the recent expulsion of the final year student from MMM Engineering College student. See, me and my roomies, we have this penchant for having these fruitful discussions: whether it’s the extremists, the Indian politicians, or the slightly theological aspects of ourselves. And usually, I don’t know why, but it’s me pitted against the others 
So, here I was, at it again!
Aditya* had to get his assignment printed and me and Pankaj**, we decided to give him company. The time it takes to cover the distance between HJB(our hostel) and the main gate is around 10-15 minutes depending on your pace; but, it’s really the quality of conversation that determines the duration. Guess I’m treading off the object here.
“You heard of the MMM case?”
“Yes”, I replied, “the action taken by the authorities was totally unwarranted though”
“Mhmm. Still, trying to get into a gal’s hostel! Phew man! I’d never have my daughter board in one”
“You’re getting impractical here mate!”, I retorted, “The value of quality education is far more important. IIT-K does allow gals inside boy’s hostel except 12-6 am!”
“Whatever! I still stand by my opinion!”
“See, neither me; nor you are in a position to stipulate. 18-20 years from now we don’t know what the conditions will be like! And even for now, we’re all adults! We know our responsibilities!”
“Huh! Co-ed hostels! We all know the problems don’t we?”
“I’m not saying co-ed! But at least you can allow gals during day time! What’s with this system I ponder which doesn’t allow one to bring his friend to his room”
Till now a silent spectator, Pankaj** finally found something to say.
“Because a gal and a boy can never be friends!”
“Kuch Kuch Hota Hai”, I sang, followed by a good laugh 
, “Oh C’mon you kiddin’ me??”
I don’t remember how, but the discussion suddenly shifted gears; Oh yes! I do know. That day, TOI had carried three rape reports in the city printed on one page only.
“Women have some err in this aspect”, said Aditya*.
“Enlighten me!!!”
“See, they wear these outfits…”
I had to cut him short, “You can wear whatever you wish to, but they can’t why the heck should it be so…??”
“Because the Indian society is accustomed to have it’s women clad in saris!!!”,said Pankaj** and continued in a sarcastic manner, “If you are so open minded you should migrate to the USA!!”
I never really understood Pankaj’s logics. So, I decided to leave it there.
Aditya* came to my rescue here, “What do you mean? if in a pub any man sees a gal in such attire he would not be able to control himself, I’d say”
“Hell!”, “For any such man clothes are of no matter!!”
At this very point the discussion ended, as we had reached our respective destination, but somewhere in my mind I knew, I had to ask theses questions.
____________________________________
Now this one wasn’t initially supposed to be here, but a chat with a friend made me put it here. The friend is a student at IP, and was sipping coffee at her home when came the omnipresent ‘aunty’.
The aunty, Dhar aunty, advised Angana*** not to fight with autowallahs.
“Why?”, she asked.
Now, Dhar aunty’s daughter who happens to study at Gargi also happens to own a scooty, “Beta! Today she was just reversing her scooty, 4 men came out of a scooty and threatened her. She said sorry and moved on!”
[Personally I would have advised the same, in this particular situation.]
____________________________________
I don’t consider myself to be the correct person to be answering these questions, that is perhaps the prime reason as to why I would like someone from the opposite sex to share their views. In a city which has practically turned into a war zone for any woman, whether it be a fifteen year old or fifty; it becomes pretty easy for the authorities to shed their duties and responsibilities, and put the blame on you.
The other thing, about which I hear a lot: eve-teasing and your response to it. I’ve got an elder sister and coached her myself in slangs and areas to target in case of any unfavorable condition; but I would like to know here is what would be your response in such a situation. I had a teacher once, who, scolded all the girls present stating, that you are yourselves responsible for this sorry state of affairs; it’s because of you that Indian women are looked upon in poor light internationally. Demanding reservation and quotas everywhere, if you yourself consider yourself to be downtrodden, at a lower level than men; then why this shouting about ‘equality’; It becomes obstinate!!
I do understand the fact that this city is not so compassionate towards it’s women; (if it were, there would have been no need to write this one down) but if you don’t respond anytime, it’ll just act as ‘ghee’ in the ‘aag’ . I’ve seen this work, when a man was confronted by a woman and the people around took good care of the fella !! This point is open for views from your side and well, hopefully, I’d be enlightened by you!!
* ** ***: All the names have been changed on request…..
You may also like to read:
Women safety: Useful tips on how to tackle strangers, stalkers, attackers
Came across these very sensible and useful tips on how a woman should protect herself from suspicious men when alone at home, work or traveling. The advices are important and life saving. Thought o...
For some women, their homes are as dangerous as a dark, deserted street
Crimes against women are on the rise, and the law keepers of the city, the police have decided to crack the whip. Most of the cases of assault, rape and even murder of women, are committed by pe...
Arrested bus driver refuses identification parade, says girl had to be taught a lesson
With junta pouring in views of implying severest punishment on the men who committed the brutal crime, the main accused who has been arrested has refused to do the identification parade. The bus dr...
Some of Us Are Becoming the Men We Wanted To Marry
Some of Us Are Becoming the Men We Wanted To Marry --Gloria Steinem When I think of women I see beauty. It’s everywhere, right from the forehead to the toes. A woman is beautiful. So let ...
Corporate gender equality, an illusion?
Women, today, have crossed the virtual boundaries created for them by the society. They are not hesitant in voicing their opinions. They don’t need a man to pay their bills. They don’t need a man t...
Women- not just wooing men!
Few days back, a friend of mine had to suffer this ordeal when she was teased by a man in his late forties, a father figure to some, but a beast to her. She was crying like a meek, timid kid, helpl...
Eve’s eve
Just a bite of that sumptuous strawberry cheese pie narrates the tale of those tender hands and those long hours of labour which it had to succumb to just for her daughter. I loved it of course, an...
Broken Smiles
Too busy are we? We leave our homes in the morning after a comfortable nights sleep in our king sized beds. Stepping out in the hot Delhi sun is in itself a tremendous task which sucks the soul out...
COUNTRY NOT FOR WOMEN
Though we come through many of the surveys, but the recent survey conducted by Thomson Reuters Foundation which predicted the worst places for women was not only interestingly but rather shamefu...
Respect women, they deserve it!
First of all, I must accede that in the past I have been pretty vocal about the female flaws, openly mocking their ability to drive or their sense of direction. And, fascinatingly, it has led to me...
Techie freaks invited!!!
Are you a gadget/gaming wizard? Would you like to write on gadgets, gaming, the Internet, software technologies, OSs and the works? Submit a sample of your writing here and if we like it, we will publish it! |
Send your Movie Reviews
 Watched a movie lately? Tell us whether we should watch it or just forget about it!Send in your Movie Reviews to theindianfusion@aglasem.com or Submit Here |
good one!
admin
March 29, 2011 at 1:47 pm
thank you…!
Sajal
March 29, 2011 at 3:10 pm
To start with, I love the title of your article.
Second, there is nothing such as eveteasing, only sexual harrasment. Somehow I feel what women go through as an everyday situation in Delhi, is trivialised as eveteasing, when it is in fact sexual harrasment.
The principal of my school was a feminist herself, and she always told us that we should never blame ourselves, our behaviour, or our dressing sense for the harrasment that happens to us. If a man ‘cant help himself’ or ‘is excited’ it has NOTHING to do with our dressing sense and more to do with there perverted psyche.
Your friend Pankaj seems to be very intelligent, however if only he had read about our history a little more. During the time of Ashoka all women wore was a piece of cloth on her upper body and a kind of ghagra. Later on during the time of british the christian missionaries vehemently changed the way women wore their saris, i.e. in the maharastian style (dhoti) because they could not understand why indian women wore clothes that showed the midriff and the back of the legs. It was too unconventional for them.
I had slapped a guy once in the metro for misbehaving with me. When I discused about the incident non chalantly with my professor, she was shocked with the way I reacted and told me never to say anything when men misbehaved. The way we behave or react to situations is possibly the only thing within our control. If I had not reacted in the way I did, the man would have continued his behaviour knowing or believing that there are absolutely no repurcussions. believeing that the next time even if he does a far more grievious crime like rape, he would get away with it. Because this society has been built up in way that women will be afraid to raise a voice.,
Sushmita Samaddar
March 29, 2011 at 6:25 pm
1. Thank you for the title appreciation.
2. Please expand speak some more on the eave-teasing point you made.
3. What you did in Metro you should’ve but again, kudos!!!!
Sajal
March 29, 2011 at 8:04 pm
firstly, i really liked ur article, gud work!…:D…nd secondly i completely agree widh sushmita, there are always questions raised on how girls should dress up. i suppose that our world has become so shallow it its mindset that people prefer changing who they are, what they want to wear, rather than changing the mentality which is the real cause
Aishwarya
April 1, 2011 at 10:19 pm
thank you!!!
Sajal
April 1, 2011 at 11:40 pm
@sushmita: i absolutely second your professor who says ” If a man ‘cant help himself’ or ‘is excited’ it has NOTHING to do with our dressing sense and more to do with there perverted psyche.”
also, i am really glad you have pointed out that in ashoka times, girls wore less than even today. so all those who keep shouting about our culture and tradition may pls chk their history first!
anwesha
March 29, 2011 at 8:28 pm
I have never been an ‘india basher’. In fact, quite to the contrary, I have always been vociferously defending ‘our culture, our values, our system’ etc.
But there is one exception and that’s the way we treat our women. Young boys are never told to respect women, never told to see them as humans and not objects, sadly not even by their mothers. While papa/bhaiyya would bash up somebody misbehaving with their daughter/sister, the same papa and bhaiyya would shamelessly harass other women. It’s disgustingly hypocrite.
The way your friend thinks is an example of how pervasive these kinds of misappropriated philosophies are. Not that your friend an eve-teaser or something, but his philosophy justifies sexual harassment of women at some level. Unless, one changes this kind of mentality one can never solve this problem.
Siddharth Garg
March 29, 2011 at 9:30 pm
I do absolutely agree with you man!
It’s people with this psyche (pubs are not for women and so on), these are the people who turn rapists!!!
Again, a fine point…!
Sajal
March 29, 2011 at 10:02 pm
Hmm, you’ve brought a number of issues into one post. I admire your open mindedness towards these issues, I must say. The point here is I guess, how to bring all men to the same level. How would you change the mindset of your friend, who believes that it’s the girl’s dressing at fault if she is abused? Is it possible to change the opinion of at least one such guy?
Sumitra
March 30, 2012 at 7:16 pm