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For a long time I was getting these mixed reviews for my hair… Ankita and Neha (my colleague) were leading the lobby that was proposing the hair cut and Big B and Neha (this one is my cousin sis) were favoring the disheveled, messed up hair all ready to be tied up in a pony soon…
And there was this third lobby too… the singleton set comprising of Vandana, who was suggesting “Do as you wish… one should always follow his heart… ” (Now what if my heart wants to murder someone..?? ). Anyways I was supporting her ideology and was determined against a haircut…
Scene 1: The One with Sameer in my Cubicle
May 9th, 2011, Monday, 3.00 PM
Place: My Cubicle
Enters Sameer (My colleague and Flatmate)
P.S. The Picture below is Sameer’s real pic, and I have taken his consent before posting it here…
Sameer: Chal ***** kitna kaam karega, ho gaya aaja ka, ab kal karenge, chal baal katane chalte hain (guys can clearly identify the love he has for me from *****, the more we love someone the more the number of ’*'s :))
Akshay: Arre kaam hai dost, and main nahi kata raha abhi
Sameer: Haan to kata mat na trim kara le thode, will look better, abhi sahi nahi lag rahe… trim kara lete hain
(Trick of Trade 1: when you want to trick someone into a trap, always be plural – ‘kara lete hain’ instaed of ‘kara le’, ‘kar lenge’ instead of ‘kar le’, ‘We’ll see’ instead of ‘You’ll have to bear it alone’ you do it and the poor guy will hand over his soul to you…)
Akshay: arre but kaam hai abhi…
[Somehow he convinced me to leave early that day for the haircut...]
Scene 2: The One with the Style Director
May 9th, 2011, Monday, 7.00 PM
Place: Hakim’s Aalim – The Hair n Tattoo Lounge
Excited by the idea of getting a haircut in months, I booked an appointment with the Style Director himself (he charges the most) and thus began the ordeal:
Followed by more something….
and the Director was good to go with my hair… not yet..!!
here comes the rapidfire question answer round from the Style Director
1) Where are you working ?
2) Is a stylish Haircut allowed there ?
3) Which hair care products are you using ?
4) Do you have any allergies with chemicals ?
5) Are you a first time visitor or someone recommended you ?
5) Do yoU want them long or short ?
By this time I was quite pissed off and impatient for the scissor to touch my scalp…
but no… not yet… here comes the clips…
Baa, Baa Style Director,
have you any Clips…?
yes sir yes sir…
a lot in the Slips
six for the left
six for the right
and four more for the hair
going down the line..!!
Finally done with the Clipping… the auspicious hour came… the Gods dropped flowers from the top… the birds chirped as he picked up his scissor and comb… and a few cuts here, a few cuts there… to share one thing… I really love it when someone caress my hair… makes me feel high and sleepy, so it happened… I reminded him once “Excuse me Mr. Director.. don cut it deep… I wanna have a pony.. ” and surrendered it to his mercy… of course he’s the Style Director… he might be knowing better…
After approximately one hour he announced… Done and started Styling with whatever is left there… a shadow of the past glory…
And then he removed the mirror in front… kinda to surprise me with final look… 10 more miutes… 3-4 more sprays, soft wax, nourishing hair something, and I was done… he replaced the mirror back again… and I looked at my new avatar, yeah I was certainly looking like an avatar… my own reflection was looking alien to me, my hair drenched in a dozen chemical sprays, decorated with a dozen… no may be a hundred termikes (or whatever you call hair longer to have spikes still made into spikes), some in the right and some in the left… I was totally screwed..
and the director ?? He was flaunting that victorious smile… Yes..!! I screwed one more normal looking guy, and transformed him into a Yo-man..!!
Hopelessly I looked at Sameer and all he could say was “Neeche chal ke theek karte hain”
Scene 3: The One with Gays in the Parking lot
May 9th, 2011, Monday, 9.00 PM
Place: Outside Hakim’s Aalim
You can spot me running around in the parking lot looking into parked cars’ and bikes’ mirrors, pressing my hair down with my hands… trying to sober down the style that was imposed on my poor hair… making me look like some alien with a hundred antennas on his head.
Looking at my plight, sameer decided to help me, so amidst all the cars and people present there, he started caressing down my hair… <in public> and leaning against a car, he was half bent, fully concentrated trying to make my hair lie down with both hands in my hair, leaning over me…
It was when we heard a giggle… the words ‘OMG’, ‘gays’ ‘kiss’ and ‘cute’ and saw a bunch of chicks… laughing and going towards the Lift lobby… What a climax to the adventure… some random hot chicks branded us gays, of all things… gays
A few feedbacks i got:
Sachin (My other Flatmate) – Youngistan lag rahe ho dost..
Mum – Ladkiyon jaise baal kyun kataye beta.. ??
Big B – Oye Chinka lag raha hai… <and he laughed to his death.. well not to his death but a lot >
My cook – Bhaiya aapne baal kataye hain… and he smiled… even my cook SMILED…!!
Manisha - hahahahahahaha…. tu na… hahahahaha… bas kya bataun kaisa lag raha hai… hahahahaha… main has has ke mar jaungi… hahahaha… (Later I cursed her with a bald husband.. )
And this is how I ended up with the costliest, funniest haircut I ever got… Yes my hair are looking somewhat like those of sameer, who himself models the early nineties hair cut of Salman Khan.
To protect myself from the jibes of this cruel world now I’ll be sporting a cap for the next two months till the time I make my hair look sane (or insane) again and don’t you dare to ask me to upload a pic on Facebook or remove my cap..!!