Postulates of the KP Theory

January 24, 2012 | Filed under: Just for Fun | Posted by: KP

*Copyright Reserved (But feel free to share so that it reaches the target audience)*

It is not my responsibility if you didn’t get it or it went over your head! This article is aimed at budding engineers, physics enthusiasts or simply the ones with both wit and brain (yeah I know, that kind is tough to find).

1. This isn’t mine and you may have heard it before but this point will serve as the basis for my other postulates, so here it is!

Beauty * Brain * Availability = Constant!

2. That was old, right. Okay, lets move on.
Have you wondered why is it more difficult to approach a hotter girl?
Oh its simple! Because Resistance varies as R= Ro(1+ αT), i.e. Resistance increases with increasing temperature. (Also, replace R by L, and we have a joke I better not elaborate upon!)

3. They often tell me “She does not respond. It is as if I don’t even exist!”
To which I calmly reply, “DUDE, Photoelectric Effect!”
You must initially provide energy to the metal until the work function/threshold is reached. Thereon in, the emission of electrons will take place and you won’t even have to worry about the supply of energy! (Hope you get the analogy involved)

4. Consider the situation. You are going nonchalantly with no sense of direction. Suddenly, a beautiful girl goes past you in the opposite direction, and the next thing you know is that you’ve taken a U-turn and have a fixed path now.
Ever heard of the Gold-foil experiment? Where the electron deviates and takes a U-turn on passing really close to a proton, I guess I made my point.

5. You must have seen those couples where there’s a wiry guy and a chubby chick or a really fat guy and a hot skinny girl. Ever wondered, what’s the deal there?
Gravitational force is directly proportional to the mass of the body. And, if the surface area of the other mass is less, lesser friction/air resistance is available. So, simply put there is stronger attraction! (Don’t even get me started on why sometimes one person constantly revolves around the other)

6. How does one allege that two guys are actually gay and have a crush on each other?
You take a really hot girl and you catch each of the guys independently staring at her. Your work is done! You simply accuse both guys having a crush on that girl. Now, By ZEROTH LAW of Thermodynamics, both the guys have a crush on each other.

7. Why do some of the exceptionally tall guys always crouch when they walk?
Because, Pressure, P=hρg, so greater the height, more the pressure!

8. Why is it that people walk hands in hands?
I have already proved above that people have resistances. They walk holding hands to create a series connection and increase the resistance, so that there is a lesser chance of someone applying a potential across them and withdrawing a current! (Again, hope you are getting the analogy)

9. If one had to describe ‘relationships’ with one law from physics, what would it be?
F=-kx, When one maintains the natural length from the other person in the relationship, no force is levied on him/her. But, you try getting away or coming too close, there is always a restoring force in the opposite direction!

10. And last but definitely not the least, why do the prettiest girls end up with the biggest jerks?
Duh, its very simple!

i) Either using Beauty * Brain * Availability = Constant
ii) Or, you may remember polarization power of an ion! Greater the charge on the cation (in this case, the jerkness), greater is its polarization power. And smaller the charge on the anion, easier is its polarizability!
Hence, Proved.