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I am Gaurav Thakur. Tonight I am drunk and am scared. If she is still awake she will hit me. She is my cute wife, the reason I am still alive. Her name brings an instant smile to my face. She has given me everything that I craved for. We have been married for six years now
I was only twenty two when I was married off to the nineteen year old Kavita Singh. It was more of a business deal than a marriage. I was born with a platinum spoon actually. My family valued everything above humanity and relationships. I had seen staff in my house being treated as servants. Let alone befriending, even speaking to people from other economic groups was considered a crime.
I had a sheltered life. I was taught horse riding and swimming and socialite dancing. And yes table manners which included no burps and no talking. The air of my house gave me a feeling of a concentration camp. I didn’t have many friends because no one in school was half as rich as me. I lived in a sprawling mansion with my parents and granny. My mother was busy in her Kitty parties, my father in business and granny in social work.
And by the time I was sixteen I started drinking. The red hue was my only refuge. I sat alone with my much loved liquor and wrote poems and secretly played guitar. I was a prisoner of this sprawling estate and wealth. I hated my existence.
Then, I turned 21 and was married off. Not that I liked this girl but then I was threatened that I’d be disowned. I was a coward so I married her. Kavita was a snob and was more interested in her modeling and socialite parties. She was perfect for our family. In the meantime I completed my MBA. I hated our family business and I wanted to become a banker. But I working for anyone else would leave my family red faced so I was appointed CEO of Thakur Telecommunications. I hated all the meetings and business parties. I hated going to office, the only think I loved is liquor. I had a sprawling bar all to myself where I heard ghazals and drank.
One morning I was delighted at the proposal granny gave. She suggested me and Kavita should have kids. I loved kids and I would have someone to call my own. But my happiness was short lived as Kavita couldn’t become a mother. She showed me reports which said if she conceived it would be dangerous for her. I fell in darkest alleys and started taking grass too. But I forgot my family could buy anything with money, even a mother’s womb.
My granny made use of her socialite status and got hold of an innocent orphan. She was just seventeen and here my family claimed doing social work. She was supposed to be a surrogate mother for my baby. As usual I couldn’t say anything. I watched helplessly as she was taken away for artificial insemination.
She was brought to stay in our outhouse. Her tests were done and she was pregnant with my baby. I hadn’t even seen her till she was three months pregnant. I was frustrated as I had just got the news that my wife was sleeping around. I was in my usual date with liquor and for some reason had gone to the terrace at the outhouse.
I was sitting on the fence singing lost in my sorry when I heard a sweet voice say, “what are you doing you will fall down from there.” I looked up and saw a little angel. She helped me off the fence and made me sit on the swing. “Who are you?” “I am Suhani.” I realized she was the one, the mother of my baby. I looked at her belly; it still wasn’t showing a bump. She was walking away when I held her hand and brought her close. I placed my head on her tummy and felt my baby, spoke to my baby and kissed my baby. She swiftly went away. I knew she was crying. And we were using her body, her womb, her soul.
She had made my soul her prisoner. I would go there every day and one such day I kissed her. I played with her hair took her in my lap. She didn’t protest and actually reacted to my touch. I knew she was as lonely as I was. Our relationship gradually became deeper. She would throw away all the bottles she saw. She made me promise her that I would not drink. I would go to her everyday and she would sleep in my arms. I would buy things for her, take care of her and even take her to the doctor.
Granny once saw us and said, “good you are spending time with her. The baby will be like you Gaurav.” Even if I was sleeping with Suhani no one would be bothered. I saw my baby’s first sonography. I saw her cry. She would give away her baby to us and be thrown out. When we were driving back I saw her longingly look at a wedding lehenga, a life which she would never get. She never said anything but I knew she loved me.
Those six months were bliss for me. I would take my guitar and sing to her, read my poems. She would even cook for me and message my head. By then I knew Kavita’s reports were fake. She didn’t want a baby because she wanted to ‘enjoy’ life. But I didn’t have the courage to confront her.
I couldn’t ever muster courage to ever blurt out my feelings if Suhani’s delivery hadn’t gone wrong. When the doctor came and said that it was complicated and they could only save one of them I bluntly said, “save my Suhani.” My family had no option but agree as I used blackmail. I threatened them that I would tell the police she was underage.
My family left, now if the baby wasn’t happening why would they stay? But God was good to me. We got a daughter; I took my baby in my arms and for the first time decided to take the reins of my life into my hands. I took Suhani in my arms; she shivered at the thought of leaving me and the baby. But love had made me smart. I asked Kavita to divorce and said I had evidence of her infidelity. They didn’t want to risk any further and the divorce was a cakewalk.
My family disowned me but I had the two women my wife and my daughter with me. I married Suhani the day she turned eighteen. I left Delhi and managed to get a bank job in Chennai. We have a modest one room flat I have a nine to five job. I travel in public transports and eat home cooked food. On weekends we go to movies and shopping malls.
Last year I became a manager and now am planning to take a bigger flat. This is the life I always wanted and Suhani gave it all to me. She is the fresh air in my life. We have a six year old daughter Khusi and a two year old son Rahul.
Finally I am also going to Mumbai. I am living my dream and have been selected for the third round of a reality show. It’s called Singing Sensation and Suhani and Khusi are sure I will win.
Now I am worried as I had an office party and got drunk. She had seen my addiction days and is still very strict with me. But even if she scolds me I take it all with a smile. Suhani my wife has indeed made turned my life into a song.
By: paulami dutta